As The Victim of a Sexual Assault

As The Victim of a Sexual Assault By The Anonymous Atlanta Mom
As a victim of a sexual assault let me tell you how angry I am right now. Let me also tell you how angry you should be right now. We as a country are sitting by and watching as a rape victim gets slandered, drug through the mud, and has to relive the worst day of her life over and over and over. All because she had the audacity to be raped. That’s right folks. She was found being raped BEHIND A DUMSPSTER, and her attacker Brock Turner, his father, and the judge who sentenced him seem to be forgetting that little detail. All they can seem to focus on in the attacker (because I refuse to give him a name, he’s had enough publicity) and his damaged future. When the judge sentenced the rapist on his three felony counts of rape he only gave him a 6 month jail sentence because he said any longer in jail would have a “severe impact” on him and his future. The rapist’s father came out with a statement, in which he explained the mistake his son made, you know, drinking too much. In that statement he also focused on the fact that his son’s future was now ruined, he was stripped from his swimming scholarship, and sadly he can no longer enjoy a good steak.

The rapist himself never apologized to his victim or the rest of the world for the matter, but rather acknowledged that he drank too much. The rapist also stated he “never intended to rape a girl without her consent”…what?
Why do I take the time to point all of that out to you? Let me tell you why. Did the judge ever consider the severe impact being raped will have on the victim’s future? I can tell you a little about that. It affected me for YEARS down the road. I was sexually assaulted when I was a child, 10 years old to be exact, and had to go through years of counseling because of it. It took me years of tears, talking and intense counseling to be able enjoy a sexual relationship with my husband, I am always scared to walk alone at night, and I don’t like to wear shorts or sleeveless shirts. I don’t want to give the wrong impression or suggest anything to men. So yes while a long prison sentence would have a severe impact on a rapist, being raped has an even more severe impact. Let’s focus on that. Let’s focus on the real victim in the case. No one can say it better than the victim herself and I’d highly suggest you take the time to read her statement. It’s long and its gut wrenching, but everyone in America needs to read it to fully understand her feeling and the “severe impact” the rape had on her.
The rapist’s father clearly needs some parental guidance or needs to take some parenting classes. Parenting 101: Don’t Make Excuses For Your Children. Your son raped someone sir. He had her hidden behind a dumpster and was raping her while she was unconscious. His mistake was not drinking too much. It was raping an unconscious woman. His “twenty minutes of actions” (as the father stated) didn’t ruin his 20+ year life, his action of raping someone did. Lastly, let’s talk about the rapist himself. He said he wants to go to high school across the nation and talk to young men/boys about the severe impact of drinking too much in college. To warn them to be aware of the drinking culture at colleges. Here’s an idea, why doesn’t he go to high schools and warn young women about the rape culture they are facing. Talk to young men about how no means NO. Even if she’s laughing. If she says no, then you STOP. Surprisingly ya’ll, the victim in this case couldn’t even say no, because she was unconscious. So even though the rapist stated he didn’t intend to rape her without her consent, I’d imagine it’d be pretty damn hard to get someone’s consent while they are unconscious. Here is a pretty moving excerpt from the victim’s statement- “Speak out against campus drinking culture. That’s what we’re speaking out against? You think that’s what I’ve spent the past year fighting for? Not awareness about campus sexual assault, or rape, or learning to recognize consent. Campus drinking culture. Down with Jack Daniels. Down with Skyy Vodka. If you want talk to high school kids about drinking go to an AA meeting. You realize, having a drinking problem is different than drinking and then forcefully trying to have sex with someone? Show men how to respect women, not how to drink less.”
Why does this matter? Because we as a nation are inhibiting a culture of “well if she was raped she must have caused it.” Guys, it doesn’t matter what she is wearing. It doesn’t matter how much she has had to drink. It doesn’t matter if she is flirting with you. If she says no then gosh dang it that means no. We have to raise our sons to understand this. As a mother of a 6 year old little boy I am already planting this seed. When he is playing and does something someone doesn’t like but he doesn’t stop I always stop him immediately and say “What does no mean?” We have to start young ya’ll. They won’t learn these things on their own.
All over America women just like me have spent the last few days reliving the terrible moments of their sexual assaults. We’ve spent the last few days holding our babies tight and praying they never have to go through what we went through. We’ve spent the last few days outraged that this is the culture of the world we live in. And we have spent the last few days wondering what we can do to be the change of the world, so our babies DON’T have to go through what we went through, and so that this won’t always be the culture of the world we live in.

By The Anonymous Atlanta Mom