I recently returned from a short vacation to the area of Florida where both my husband and I grew up. Of course, we saw a ton of family and friends since we were close by and they all want as much time with our son as possible. Each day was full of visits and meals out and squeezing as much into one day as we could. I never mind being busy with visits while we are in the area even though it tends to wear us out other than give us time to relax. But other than being exhausted from constant movement, and keeping a toddler entertained and well-mannered, this time I noticed something about the conversations. I had nothing to talk about.
I can’t even talk about nothing
I had nothing to talk about.
This is shocking for me since I tend to classify myself as a social butterfly. I can usually strike up a conversation with just about anyone. But this time, as I sat with the numerous people in my life who I have years of memories with, I found myself at a lack of topics except for one…. my child. They would ask about work or the house search or any other topic that seems perfectly standard for adult conversation and my answers were pretty basic “Oh it’s fine…” “Things are great…” “Yes, it’s going well…” The only exception is when they wanted to talk about Bronson and then it was like I couldn’t turn myself off.
“as I sat with the numerous people in my life who I have years of memories with, I found myself at a lack of topics except for one…. my child.”
Have I become that mother?
Is my life so revolved around my kid and what’s going on with him, that I can’t find a topic to discuss that is unrelated to him? So I mentally dug deeper into this and realized that yes, everything I do does revolve around him. Our current house search is because we want to find a home that is zoned for a good school district. My job is focused on allowing me to have flexible scheduling so I can be a hands-on mother. Even my crafts that I do for fun tend to be kid focused. But why did I just notice this on our trip?
Well, for starters, the people who are a part of my every day life are either parents themselves or family that is very hands on with my son. So talking about summer activities, and developmental milestones, or the latest crazy toddler antic is just normal conversation. I never feel self-absorbed when I talk with them. But during our trip I realized that most of the people we saw don’t have children or have children grown and gone. They aren’t in the same life stage as me and my husband.
So do I accept that I am boring and all I want to do is talk about my child?
Nope. Instead I’m going to embrace it. I prayed for a long time to have a child and I won’t regret making him the center of my world. If the worst thing someone has to say about me is that I love my child too much, then I’ll happily take that criticism. These years with him go by so fast, I have the rest of my life to focus on me and my social activities. For now, it can be all about him.
