I have a serious case of political fatigue. There were times in the last few weeks I wished I could hit mute on global social media. I’ll admit, I have felt a bit overwhelmed, like standing in front of a Tsunami of opinion, relentless and pounding. I took a couple of days break from the social rhetoric, just to quiet the noise for a moment. The change was good. Really good.

In that time I realized that there are many things that affect us directly, it’s too easy to give power to the mainstream voices, sometimes we become numb to it, other times we are hypersensitive to it. Our brains are filled with the cacophony of buzzing opinion and it’s a whole bucket of tiring.

Spot the good.

The hate that has been communicated this week has been emotionally exhausting. It’s easy to get bogged down in the sadness. In the midst of it all I was reminded of something my father would say; no matter what happens, no matter how bad, whether it is war, disaster, hate or conflict, you will always find the good. Sometimes you have to look hard but it will always be there. Whether it’s the people clearing the rubble and saving the lives, whether it’s the people rushing in to help the needy or whether it’s the voices defending the oppressed. As sure as the bad is there, the good is just as sure. Make sure you look for it, you will always find it.

As a mom, I wonder about the people that have shared that fear and hate this week and I wonder about the people that didn’t. I wonder about their moms, I wonder what lives they had, what love they received, what shaped their world. I wonder about my own sons. My job as a mom became clear when I had my children, I knew I had an obligation to raise the change. I knew I had to teach my children to accept others, to be courageous in their convictions of love, to be brave & strong, kind and compassionate.

I think about the future and the generations we are raising now, wherever we are from, whether we are black, white, Asian, Hispanic, Jewish, Christian, Muslim or atheist, whatever beliefs or opinions we have, whatever has shaped our world, we need to break the cycle of fear.

A question of intent.

I recently found myself in conversation with a good friend of mine, a friend whom I respect and admire but who’s political opinions I do not share. We were discussing her right to bear arms and the fact that she staunchly defends her position to have automatic weapons in her home. I might not agree with her but I do respect her constitutional right to make that choice.

She is teaching her 6 year old how to shoot those weapons. Again, as the law currently stands, it is her right to teach her child how to shoot and handle guns safely. I asked her what she teaches her daughter about WHY she is learning to shoot, she replied “I teach her it’s her right to bear arms and defend herself”…and there it is… “defend herself”. When I asked, against whom do you tell her she is defending herself? She replied “anyone that tries to hurt her”. When I asked if she felt she was subconsciously teaching her child to be afraid of others she said “what choice do I have”?

The reality of fear.

I respect this mother immensely, she is a wonderful mom and she only wants what’s best for her child but is she passing her fears and perceptions on? Or is she simply setting her child up for the world in which we live? So here is the very question I ponder today; when does preparing our children to be safe and aware of the realities of life become teaching our children to fear and condemn others?

How does this shape this childs perception of the people around her? It is human nature to fear what we don’t know, so does that mean those who are unfamiliar to her because of their religion, their skin color, their social standing or their politics become those she believes she might one day need to defend herself against? Is this a self-fulfilling prophecy?

I hasten to add, this is not a question of guns or a debate about gun ownership; this is just an example of the way our fears may shape those of our children. As innocently or with as much positive intent as us loving parents have, it is easy for our perceptions to mold those of our children. Shouldn’t we question the things that have shaped our own fears and challenge ourselves to question them?

We can raise the change.

When I think back to those who have shared their fear and anger toward others, I wonder where those seeds where planted and how those fears were developed. Did they start out as tiny inflections or passing comment and develop into something bigger? I don’t know the answer, I just know that I need to fight for my children to love and to connect to their fellow humans. To protect them from being angry and afraid.

I am not a perfect mom, perfect moms are like Fairy dust and Unicorn farts; they don’t actually exist. I get it wrong, I bend the rules. I’m late. A lot. Sometimes my kids watch too much TV and occasionally they have shitty food. There are some days I don’t shower and most days I forget something I really should have remembered. There are days when I just want to say F’K. IT. ALL.

Life is not what it’s perceived to be. It’s not an illusion of perfection. It’s what my kids understand it to be. I know that they will experience judgment and hate in their own lives. I think about how I will teach them to protect themselves from it without being defined by it. How to break the cycle. How to be fearless in the face of prejudice, how to defend against hate and how to be the good that people will search for. If parents unite and commit to embracing diversity, rejecting fear and raising the change, I truly believe we can give our kids the kind of future we all dream of. Let’s do this. #raisethechange