I became a mother in 2013 and resources like MAMC have helped to fill the isolation inherent with being a stay at home parent. I found MAMC after the birth of my first daughter, a time of many sleepless nights spent online searching for answers about how to raise the tiny helpless human I was sent home with from the hospital. From the moment that you learn that you’re expecting and share that incredible news with someone else, the unsolicited advice comes flooding in. Everyone has their two cents to share about raising children, where they should sleep and what they should eat and of course when you should have another (or not have any more!). But what no one ever tells you is that once that baby is born and all the hubbub of the birth dies down, you will enter into the most awkward, unsure and isolating time of your entire life.
I remember distinctly the night before my husband was to return to work about a week after the birth of our daughter. I’d survived a difficult pregnancy, pre-eclampsia, an emergency C-section and eclamptic seizures in recovery. And now I sat on my couch feeling a little loopy from the Labetalol that was keeping my blood pressure in check. As I held my sweet baby girl in my arms, tears began to flow. How on earth would I manage taking care of myself and her? My mother was recovering from a double mastectomy and my sister was busy caring for her. My niece, who is more like a little sister (we’re 10 years apart), had her hands full with newborn twins born 10 days before my daughter. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more alone and helpless. The next thing I know, I was being cradled in my husband’s arms doing the shoulder shaking ugly cry. Ever my cheerleader, he encouraged me in the way that only he can. He told me that I was strong, beautiful and more than capable of handling everything. That night, we made a list of my medications and the baby’s sleep and feeding schedule. We created a diaper caddy and filled my Netflix queue with what we call “mama movies,” i.e. all the rom-coms and gems from the 80s like ‘Teen Witch’ that he would rather lose a limb than have to watch with me. The next morning, armed with a water bottle, cup of Mother’s Milk Tea and a bowl of oatmeal, I was ready to take on the day.
As my daughter grew and her needs changed, I found myself overwhelmed with the management of her care and all my other responsibilities. Somewhere in the midst of it – I don’t even remember exactly when – I found MAMC and with it, a group of supportive moms who truly get what it feels like when you haven’t had uninterrupted sleep in months, can’t remember the last time you showered and your toddler is screaming bloody murder because you dared to cut her waffle up into triangles instead of squares. I love MAMC because it’s a virtual group of momrades who understand my struggles and celebrate my successes along this crazy beautiful journey of parenthood.
