How My Daughter’s Autism Diagnosis Made Me a Better Person
January 14, 2016. I remember that day so vividly. That was the day that my daughter was diagnosed with autism. My husband and I were expecting this diagnosis, so we weren’t surprised when we heard the doctor say those words. We knew this diagnosis was going to change our lives. However, we had no idea how much it would actually change us as individuals. Of course, there were some negative changes…We were more stressed, a little bitter, guilt ridden, and confused. But then I started to realize there were multiple positive changes that outweighed all the negative ones. My daughter’s autism diagnosis has actually made me a better person.
Once your child is diagnosed with autism, you immediately become a member of the most supportive, encouraging, incredible group of parents: Autism parents. These parents are willing to stay up all night answering your questions. They will celebrate your child’s victories that are considered typical development to most people. They are there for you to vent, cry, and laugh.
As a new member of this amazing group of parents, I was welcomed with open arms. I found a few moms who have kids on the spectrum around Raelyn’s age. These moms were my lifelines for any and all things related to autism. They were my people. The longer I was in this club of autism parents, I found myself becoming more comfortable in the role of an autism mom. I didn’t have to turn to these fellow autism moms for every little question I had about therapy, development, or sensory diets. I actually felt like I knew what I was doing.
Before I knew it, I found myself giving other moms advice about their own kids.
Some moms were concerned about their kids’ development, some were navigating the diagnosis process, and some had recently received an autism diagnosis. The memories of being brand new at this whole “autism parent thing” were so fresh in my mind. I remembered so clearly how scared, lonely, and confused I was. What got me through this scary part of my life was having a support system of other autism moms. They cheered me on and supported me the whole way. I knew that it was now my turn to be the cheerleader for these new members of our special club.
Since starting this blog, I have had numerous moms reach out to me out of concern for their kids. Regardless of what I am doing, I will drop everything to respond to a mom’s concerns regarding their child. I do this because I know that when I have a question about my kid, I want an answer right then. I know how important this is to every mom out there. Even if I can’t provide an answer to their questions, I know that I can at least provide support and encouragement.
Being the one seeking support and also the one providing it, I have learned to be more patient and less judgmental.
I am so much more understanding of the toddler throwing a tantrum at Publix. It no longer annoys me to hear a kid screaming in a restaurant the entire time I’m eating. I stopped judging the mom who gives her 2 year old her iPhone as a last resort so she can finish buying her groceries or eating her meal in peace. I have stopped judging other parenting choices and realize that we are all in this together. Moms should encourage and support one anther, rather than criticizing every decision they don’t agree with.
Having a doctor tell me that my child has autism was one of the hardest moments in my life. I felt like my world had been turned upside down. But it didn’t take me long to realize that my daughter being autistic is so much more than a diagnosis. It has opened the door for me to become educated about everything pertaining to autism, and allowed me to educate other parents in a similar situation. This unique experience has allowed me to become a spokesperson, an advocate, and a support system for anyone affected by autism.
I’ve learned just how strong I am and how much I am capable of enduring.
I never imagined that I would be
fighting some of the battles that I have had to fight for my daughter. I am actually in the process of getting our employee benefits department to add autism benefits to our insurance policy. This has been my most difficult but also most rewarding battle I have ever taken on. If I am successful, I will be getting countless families the necessary support their children with autism require. This will be HUGE! A year ago, I never imagined that I would be making such enormous changes. But now here I am. And it is all thanks to the inspiration I have been given by my incredible daughter, who just happens to have autism,
If you have a chid with autism and need some support, click here to read my post “To The Struggling Autism Mom.”
