Our Sunday Sabbath by Caroline Hoffman
A few months ago my husband Matt and I decided our weekends were feeling too hectic, and come Monday we needed a break. You know the feeling, like when you get home from vacation and you NEED a vacation. We didn’t feel rested or relaxed, we felt exhausted, shuttled all over town between errands, home improvement projects, yard work, gardening, laundry and shopping. We were trying to cram way too much into the short weekend and it was catching up with us.
The answer was pretty obvious, we needed to plan and do less, and enjoy more. Nobody we know takes a Sabbath. None of our friends, not our family, but we decided to give it a try anyway. We take one day per weekend, and use it as a real Sabbath where we don’t plan too much, and we don’t work on anything that feels like a chore. One day of resting, reconnecting as a family and only doing things that bring us joy, peace or relaxation. Exodus 20:8 gave us the command by God to keep a holy day of rest, so we decided as a family, we would try our best to make that happen. Its harder than it sounds!
Charlotte painting during some Sunday downtime
Many years ago, before we had children, we knew we didn’t want to be the type of family that was constantly on the move from one game to another practice, to a show and then to another game all weekend long. It feels too hectic for us and we don’t find joy in a busy lifestyle, it actually brings us both anxiety. We enjoy spending our time outside as a family, getting our hands dirty and playing barefoot in the yard. As a mom, I can be an over scheduler by nature, planning birthday parities, trips, vacations, date nights, bbq’s, events, etc that can fill up ones life quickly if you don’t stop and smell the roses. Keeping this in mind, we decided that next year, our daughter would take her dance classes during the week, and not on Saturday mornings to free us up a little more. My husband of course would prefer we keep the entire weekend a Sabbath, naps on the couch, tv on and not cleaning any dishes for example. HA! As if.
Matt and Elliott lounging in their favorite spot
For me, it looks more like tending to my garden, listening to music, going on a family hike and grilling out in the evening with family while we hang out around the table and the kids play in the back yard. I’m sure your ideas of a Sabbath would be unique as well, but as long as its focused around refreshing your soul and your family and your marriage, your on your way. The kids both get their naps that day so mom and dad try to nap too, and we all feel so rested and nobody is running on empty, its easily become out favorite day.
On occasion we can’t keep it because something comes up or plans change, and we are flexible, but we also see the results of being rested and connected and try to prioritize that so we can set that example for out kids. We try our best to keep the Sabbath, just like we do our Friday night date nights because it changes the climate of our home in a positive way. My children seeing my husband and I cuddled up on the couch, happy and relaxed is so beneficial to their life and future. Watching us enjoy the day and our home and to be able to relax without guilt is something many adults struggle with, especially us moms. As a stay at home mom myself, recently turned work from home mom, its important for me to get my batteries recharged and my soul refilled, to start the week off feeling happy and content in life. Knowing I spent time with my kids and invested in them as well as my own self and my marriage over the weekend, keeps the mommy guilt at bay a little longer and helps me be a better wife and a better mom. When your cup is running over, you don’t need to go looking elsewhere to fill it. The phrase, “happy wife, happy life” really used to erk me, as if the weight of the families happiness sat on my shoulders and I couldn’t have a bad day or everyone around me would. Now I can see that my role in my family is so important and it requires so much of me daily that if I’m not happy, I can’t fulfil my duties. Every time I ride a plane and they remind us to put our own oxygen mask on before assisting others, it reminds me of motherhood so much. How can I possibly be an extension of grace and mercy to my kids and husband all week if I’m filled with anxiety (how will I get it all done?), stress(I’m too tired for one more 4am feeding and changing the pee soaked sheets in my toddlers bed), fear (can my kids tell I’m unfulfilled? are they suffering because I can’t be on top of it all, all of the time?), feelings of selfishness (because I want alone time or need to decompress away from those little prying eyes) and anger (because I’m alone much of the day all week long, away from other adults and I get lonely and bored)? If we don’t all get time to recharge and unwind and reconnect each week, that is how we end up feeling.
Of course I have piles of laundry, dust bunnies, glitter spills (oh for the love of GLITTER) errands and a million other mom things I could be doing too, but I choose to sit and be still and content and leave all the junk on my to do list until tomorrow. I choose my marriage, my kids, my self and our happiness above those other mom things one day a week, one week at a time. It’s my day to be more like Martha and leave my typically Mary self for the next day. I strongly urge you guys to give it a try and see where it leads your heart, your marriage and your parenting.
Comment below and let me know if you try it out and what your experience was!
