10 Reasons Why Being an Autism Parent is Absolutely Amazing

When Patrick and I started talking about starting a family, it was never in our plans to have a child with autism. We figured we would have a “typical” healthy child, who would never need therapy to meet milestones. We never dreamed that our baby would be going to a special pre-school or seeing a developmental pediatrician on a regular basis. None of this was in our plans. But you know what?

Our life has turned out so much better than we ever dreamed.

Our baby girl, Raelyn, has blessed us and has already made such an impact on so many lives. Being her mommy is God’s greatest gift to me. Can raising a child with special needs be difficult? Absolutely. Is it exhausting? Without a doubt. Does it come with heartache, tears, and unimaginable amounts of stress? Of course. But is it worth it? Oh, it is so worth it. This is why:

1. I literally get to raise my hero.

Everyone has a hero. That one person that inspires them to be a better version of themselves. My daughter is only 2 years old, but she has endured more in her short life than most. Every single day is a battle for her, and she fights those battles with a smile on her face. The most simple tasks are extremely difficult for her, yet she never gives up. Her determination is what motivates me to fight so hard for her. She inspires me every single day.

2. No two days are the same.

Everyone knows that routine is key in people with autism. Although this is true, that doesn’t guarantee that each day will go as planned. Raelyn always keeps me guessing and constantly keeps me on my toes. It utterly and completely wears me out, but the laughs I get to share with her are totally worth the chaos.

3. I have the opportunity to connect with my child on a much deeper level than most people can comprehend.

Raelyn is just starting to be able to communicate with me on the most basic level. She will bring me what she wants and shake her head “no” to things she doesn’t. That means that for the past two years, I have literally had to read her mind most of the time. She can just look at me a certain way and I know that means she is hungry or wants to watch her favorite show. Loving a person who is nonverbal is very frustrating but it is also incredibly magical. It forces you to bond with that person in such a way that you always know what that person needs, wants, or is thinking.

4. Raelyn’s diagnosis has brought me across the paths of so many incredible people.

I have become very good friends with people who I probably would’ve never met if it weren’t for Raelyn having autism. My close friend, Meagan Nash, has a son with Down Syndrome, and we began talking after Raelyn’s diagnosis. She is now one of my best friends. I have met and become friends with many of Raelyn’s therapists. I have had other autism parents reach out to me, and I have had the opportunity to share what I have learned with them.

5. I have been able to change the lives of countless people.

Shortly after Raelyn’s diagnosis, we realized that our insurance policy doesn’t have any autism benefits. After unsuccessful attempts at trying to convince them to cover therapies, I decided to go a different route. I went directly to the director of the benefits department at my husband’s work. After months of research, meetings, phone calls, and emails, I just found out that my efforts paid off in a huge way. My husband’s employer (Northeast Georgia Medical Center) decided to add autism benefits to their current insurance policy. Because of my relentless advocating for my daughter, I was able to open the door for hundreds of children on the spectrum to receive services they otherwise wouldn’t be able to receive.

6. I have developed an unbreakable bond with my husband.

When a couple goes through a significant life changing event, one of two things happen: it destroys the relationship or it forces them to grow closer. In the beginning of this autism journey, our marriage was a little rocky. We were both trying to be strong for each other and neither of us talked to the other about how scared we were. Our marriage suffered as a result. We got through the rough patch and came out on the other end, stronger than I could have ever imagined. We have learned the importance of parenting as a team, and it shows through the progress Raelyn has made.

7. I am now a member of the very special club of special needs parents.

These people will do anything for one another. We fight battles for our kids and when we win, we celebrate together. When one of us is struggling, we experience that heartache together. We are each other’s rocks, support system, shoulders to lean on, people to cry with, and friends to celebrate with. Finding a group of parents who understand the struggle is the secret to being able to handle the daily stressors of this demanding job. They will go to battle for you when you’re too broken to keep fighting. These super-parents are family, and I’m blessed to be a part of it.

8. A milestone isn’t just a milestone and every victory is worth celebrating.

Raelyn takes much longer than most kids to reach certain milestones. When she DOES reach them, it is after hours, days, weeks, months of therapy and hard work. So every time she does something new, our pure happiness shows her how proud we are. Although it is heartbreaking to watch her struggle to do basic skills, I love that we will never take a single moment for granted.

9. Raising a child with autism motivates me to always push myself.

I have no other choice but to fight like hell for my daughter. I am her advocate because no one else will make sure she gets the help she needs. She works so hard every single day to do things that come naturally for other kids. Her drive is what pushes me to always do better. I have always been motivated by challenges, and being an autism mom is the ultimate challenge.

10. She has taught me to be more tolerant, accepting, and understanding of people who are different.

Before having a child with special needs, I could be judgmental of parents who have different parenting styles. Now that I have to alter the way I parent to suit my kid’s needs, most people probably judge MY parenting style. And that’s okay, because I know what is best for my kid. But now I don’t even think about criticizing another parent, because they know what’s best for THEIR kid. Plus, no one knows what other parents go through on a daily basis. So we should all cut each other some slack.

Being an autism parent is hard as hell. It is frustrating, lonely, and sometimes heartbreaking. But everything I have listed above totally outweighs the negatives. Raelyn is our only child, so this is the only life I know. There are some people who feel sorry for me, but I can assure you.. My life is more gratifying than most and my heart is fuller than I could’ve ever imagined.

Click here to read my post “Autism: 8 Amazing Aspects of My Child.”

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