Meet Summer Ginn

Hi my name is Summer Ginn. I am married and a proud mommy of our 21 month old daughter, Raelyn. October 2015 through January 2016 was a very scary time for my family. Our daughter’s pediatrician was concerned that she wasn’t meeting any communication milestones at her 1 year well visit. One of those milestones she wasn’t hitting was responding to her name. Ever. We actually had convinced ourselves she legitimately couldn’t hear. So we had her hearing checked, which turned out to be normal. To make a very long story short, we eventually had her evaluated by a developmental pediatrician in January 2016 and this is when she was diagnosed with autism.

Boom. Our lives were forever changed. And just like that, our picture perfect lives we had envisioned quickly became nothing more than a fading illusion that was slipping away between our fingers. We cried. A lot. We grieved for the child we thought we were going to have. We briefly felt a little sorry for ourselves, but mainly for our daughter. I would lay awake at night, guilt stricken with the idea that perhaps I did something during my pregnancy to have caused this.

I was bitter for several months. That bitterness has just recently begun to subside. I was bitter that my friends’ kids didn’t struggle on a daily basis the way my kid did. I was bitter that my friends didn’t have to plan for a trip to Publix as if they were going on a 7 day cruise. That bitterness started eating away at my soul and it hindered my ability to be the mother that my daughter needs. So then I decided to put on my big girl panties.

“I am a strong person. But every now and then, I would like someone to take my hand and say everything will be alright”

My husband and I quickly decided it would be in Raelyn’s best interest for me to quit my job as an oncology and hospice nurse so that I could stay home with Raelyn. We had a plan on how we were going to approach this, and that plan is what kept me going. It gave me something to do that made me feel like I was helping my daughter and gave me a goal to work towards. I gave myself a week to grieve. I let myself cry and gave myself permission to wear pajamas all day if that’s what helped me cope. But then that week was up and it was time for me to put on my cape and become the super mom my daughter needed.

“I love my child, autism and all. But damn, sometimes this is hard”

-Deciphering Morgan

I got on the phone and set up every therapy her doctor suggested. I spent countless hours on the phone with our insurance company, arguing with them about WHY they needed to pay for my daughter’s therapies. Being my kid’s advocate was now my full time job. And I’ll tell you what… This new job of mine was so much more demanding than my nursing job, which consisted of infusing chemotherapy, administering blood, giving pain meds around the clock, and basically juggling the needs of 5-6 patients at a time.

“Here are my shoes. Take a walk. Talk to me when you get back”

On top of trying to suddenly figure out how to be a stay at home mom, I was having to process this life changing diagnosis. I was scared. So scared. Scared for the future of our daughter who doesn’t even know how hard life is going to be for her. Oh it hurt me so bad to think about. This was a type of pain I had never experienced before, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. So I reached out to an old high school friend and fellow special needs super mom, Meagan Nash.

Meagan told me about MAMC and after some initial skepticism, I quickly became an active member of the group, engulfed in the entertaining and heart wrenching posts these moms would share. It was a safe place for me to be completely candid and raw about how I was holding (or not holding) things together day to day. MAMC allowed me to find several other moms who were going through similar experiences. I had multiple moms from the group reach out to me because they had concerns about their child possibly being on the spectrum.

I felt like I had become a spokesperson for all things autism in the group, and this was a role I was thrilled to take on. This new role made me realize that Raelyn’s diagnosis is so much bigger than my child being autistic… It has empowered me to become an educator, an advocate, a shoulder to lean on, and most importantly a friend to other moms who feel helpless. There is nothing more isolating than feeling like no one else in your circle of friends knows what you’re going through. So through this blog, I hope to reach other scared moms who need that person to reassure them that everything will be ok ?